You know, this thing called life is a funny, fickle thing. I get these great, AMAZING ideas, have the completely OVERWHELMING need to do all.the.things. involved, and then I NEED to blog about it. Great! Then. THEN. Life gets in the way, our lack of any budget freedom totally gets in the way, and there shoving those things over and being an even bigger in-the-way pain in the butt is this voice in my head. It will never be good enough. I will never be good enough. It won’t amount to anything. No one is going to see this teeny tiny piece of internet land, and even if they do, I don’t have a big enough budget to keep it up and make it pretty and shiny and all the things nice anyways. I love doing this little thing called blogging because its a place to spill my brain out, to have a little piece of sanity in my world of motherhood and crazy- but I rarely if ever get around to updating things and then I forget about it and give it up.
So then I think, Who the Hell Cares?! I’m dusting this baby off and gettin’ to it.
If you didn’t notice yet, I used that “B” word. Yup. I said it.
Ordinarily I’m a huge, giant, flag waving, parading member of the “Budget is not a dirty word” club.
Budgets help us and make us plan and get us to where we need to be. They help us reach our dreams. Except. When there’s such a lack of space in the budget that you are so far beyond the level of “sticking to rice and beans” that you can name 100 different ways to make ramen. Yes, for us, some of it is an income problem. Of course it is. Duh. Circumstances right now have meant our budget literally has its pants down because baby, bending over isn’t going to shake any more pennies out.
For real though. I’m not complaining. Okay, maybe I am a bit. But its the card that’s been dealt and for reasons that stay out of fantasy internet land, we are in a ‘wait things out’ period, while hopefully we are able to get things straightened out. We are lucky in that we have a great support system and our kids are perfectly happy and content and maybe they don’t get a trip to the Target toy department as much as they’d like (or ever), but I’m good with that!
The point is, Budgets can really sometimes actually get in the way of dreams.
They can be a total drag. Sure, all those people out there who say their budget is ‘totally freeing’ are having a great time on their budget. But when you’re trying your damndest (that’s really a word. no, really) to stretch a
$60 a week -try $35- grocery budget for a family of five, and just praying nothing bad happens like a car repair or pretty much anything, staying in budget isn’t freeing, its an absolute, do or die, necessity. So, yes. budgets can get in the way of everything, even dreams. Because when you’re tired of giving your husband the stink eye for snacking on something that was meant for a meal, when you cry in the morning over making breakfast for the kids and they complain about what it is even though you planned and scraped just to make it possible, its seriously easy to stop dreaming.
I know there are people right here in this corner of the world who have it way worse than us. People are hungry, we’re fed. People are cold, poor, tired, and have no relief in sight, we’re warm and have a safe, comfortable place to be. My children are wearing comfortable clothes and are perfectly healthy. I tell God every single day how grateful I am for what we have. I don’t wish for riches or extravagance. What I do wish for is to know that I can hope for things to be better. That its okay to dream a little because that would mean the possibility of some of those dreams actually coming true.
So. If you’re in that hole, like me, where it feels like even though you’re doing everything you can to make ends meet and it won’t, can’t happen, DON’T GIVE UP. Keep going. It will get better, things will work out. Because we can’t let even the tightest of budgets, the trickiest of times, get us down.
Over time I will be sharing ways I like to make things work, including how I make our food budget work while keeping us on as healthy of a diet as possible, and how a bit of gardening and homesteading can help, and what dreams I try to hold onto, even when things are looking bleak. (: